Picture of my parents kayaking at Lake Shikotsu in Hokkaido Japan.
I am not a very good writer nor an experienced one. From now on I will be writing down my thoughts, experiences, and emotional phases throughout the journey itself. Just like talking to my mind and recording as much as I can. Today is 29th of August 2016 1:22 am in Seoul Korea; typing down on my laptop in my tiny room. I can hear crickets in the background through my windows.. So silent and drenched inside the calm emptiness of my mind. 30th of August, Tuesday tomorrow is the day for me to depart and leave everything behind; my home, family, my pet Momo, and well of course some comfortable and cushy bed and mom-cooked meals ha. I am not sure what I’m feeling at this moment. It was so exciting to think that I’ll be leaving on my own; journeying across continents with amazing adventures to come. But now that I have only one day left before I say goodbye to all of this comfortable and secure yet “something-is-missing” vibe of life, the excitement for leaving is somewhat drifted to something else.. It is certain that I don’t feel as excited as before while I was preparing this sort of world travel for two years but that doesn’t mean I’m regretting my decision or saying that my enthusiasm for adventure has changed.
Perhaps my restless mind gave me no choice but to write it down in order to find out what’s bugging me. I should’ve gotten used to this thing long ago; used to being away with everyone else I knew since I was little, having to leave every time I make new friendships and getting detached from the people I love. All of this was an experience that accumulated to where I am now. I guess if someone asks me why I decided to travel the world on my own with no money, it’s because I just felt like doing so. Whatever the cause is whether it is to escape a certain way of life or to simply find oneself into the grand scheme of natural flow, it doesn’t really matter to think about it now. Because I should know better than anyone else that there was no shadow of doubt when making this decision.
Although, there are some people who are worried about me… I get a mixed feelings all at once. Especially right now when I have hard time falling asleep at night and thinking about my parents next door; peaking through their room and see if they’re asleep. Seems like they are also having a hard time falling asleep. I can see the sadness in her eyes.. Knowing that one day I would leave but sooner than she thought and wishing that she could’ve done more. The reflection in her eyes welded deep into my soul thinking that I haven’t been a greatest child hehe! and being a trouble maker since I was a little boy keeping them on the edge of seat in the distant days.. Makes me chuckle and attached at the same time. I owe them my life and I will never forget their presence of concern so I will make sure to ease their mind while I’m on my journey. I know I would never be able to repay them for just being my parents and just simply in presence with us without any hard-core illness and severe health issues throughout this stage of life. I am happy that I will be on my way to find myself and get a little bit of burden off of them.
Ahh that bit got a little bit emotional for a while and it is time to sign off.